5:00AM the sky is just beginning to show hints of daylight. The mountains like great shadows towering around us and the stars are radiating with light. It wasn't easy waking up in the cold, my breath heavy with ice crystals and my face raw against the biting temperature. I'm scrambling in the dark with a small flashlight clenched in my teeth trying to get my gear all packed up. I'm wearing every layer I can but my backpack still feels as heavy as it did when I started this trek. Heavy,,, that is the word of the day for me. AB is excited to start the walk as he bounces up and down to keep warm in the dim light.
Bending our knees we take slow easy steps up the hill. The earth is brown and grey with not an ounce of green. At least there is not any snow or ice to contend with because the trails will worn edges don't leave much room for error. We are all silent focusing on our breaths and trying to keep good balance as our packs pull us backwards. The suns light is hitting the highest peaks now and on a distant mountain side I can see blue sheep grazing. Snow leopards also roam this area, but they are very difficult to see and with a powerful sense of smell would probably disappear long before any human could lay eyes on him. Even the blue sheep are hard to make out and it's only when they move that I know they are there.
We reach upper base camp and the sun hits our faces as we make it out of the steepest portion of the pass. It's low season for crossing the pass so the lodge is cold and empty. The air is thinner and it's not good to sit still for too long and people only take short breaks to drink water before marching on.
I lean on one of the lodge posts and watch trekkers go by. I feel sleepy and it seems too early to feel this way but when I start to move my knees actually feel like they are refusing my commands to go onward. I have a dull headache that I know is only going to get worse so I've got to get moving. Tony isn't too far ahead of me, but among the group of trekkers that set off with us I cannot pinpoint where AB is on the trail. Almost everyone making the crossing is a guy, tall and lanky and they easily pass me with their great strides. I want to speed up but find myself exhausted with every extra push I try to give. I feel like I am the last person of the group, so slow that I finally see AB watching and waiting for me to see if I'm okay. He sits on a boulder and asks, "You alright?" I'm out of breath, but manage to belt out a, Yes. "You have to get moving, it's too cold to go slow." I tell him I have a headache and he says, "Even more reason to get to the top quickly, so that we can all go down." "My bag is digging into my back and rubbing my skin raw, it's painful to move." I try and defend myself. AB takes my pack and adjusts all my straps for me and says, "This is what we decided in the beginning that we would do this ourselves without the help of porters." "Robyn you can do this, just breathe and you'll be at the pass in no time. He holds my pack up for me to slip back into and nods with approval, "Better?" I give him a thumbs up and he moves on.
Up here everything you've suffered from increases and it's not something you can ignore. All those muscle aches, sores, blistered toes, stomach ailments and other less than pleasant things take on a new life. Humans are clearly not meant to live up here. The evidence of how dangerous this can be makes itself clear as we follow along a ridge dotted with memorial markers from those who died trying to cross Thorong La in years passed. Stones are etched with names and dates and rocks are stacked in small piles around the grave markers. The landscape opens more for us and it's as if we are in a giant bowl surround by jagged teeth. Arid and dry, the sun is blinding against the white snow-capped peaks and the wind picks up under a dark blue cloudless sky. "Just sleep." the wind whispers to me. "Lay down under this glorious sky and sleep for me." My companion the wind is getting stronger the further I go and she is just about the only thing I can hear with the exception of my heartbeat which seems to have moved from my chest to my eardrums. I can't quench that desire to breathe in deeply now, it's just not there. I stop to drink more water, "Am I the last human standing?" A few more steps and I can see that the gateway to the other side is near. Millions of prayer flags blowing violently are strung across a mass pile of stones. A tiny cabin with smoke coming from a chimney also comes into view and all the hikers pepper the brown landscape in all the shades of the latest camping outerwear. I feel like I am walking into some sort of outdoor party or festival. It's suddenly very crowded and everyone is smiling and talking. A few hours ago we were all keeping to ourselves not even acknowledging each other. My last few steps are greeted with applause and Tony rushes up to kiss me on the cheek, shouting, "We did it!" AB is at the cabin sipping tea and gives me a nod with a big smile. The wind is ripping through the pass with hurricane like force and it's absolutely frigid. Even at the mouth of the pass there isn't any snow which still only covers the highest peaks. Everyone is taking photographs and warming themselves in the small cabin where a Sherpa makes Tibetan tea for everyone. Tony, AB, and I take our turns posing by the elevation sign which reads, Thank You For Visiting Manang, Thorong La Pass Elevation, 5416 m (17769 ft) Congratulations On Your Success!!! As miserable as I was moments ago I am now smiling and laughing with everyone. We did it and I am standing on a patch of earth that is the highest I'll ever be. It's gorgeous!
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